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Awful to Awesome Hanli Terblanche

Awful to Awesome

Hanli Terblanche

Published May 6th 2013
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 About the Book 

Awful to Awesome is a story of mental illness and coping with bipolar disorder. It is an account of time spent in a psychiatric clinic and the circumstances that led to being admitted to the clinic. How and why we self medicate. Diagnosed with Bipolar disorder only a few years ago, a lot of past behaviour was explained. Some psychological conditions and disorders and other illnesses are investigated. A lot of trauma came to light during hypnotherapy, such as being raped and keeping it secret for many years. Dealing with the truth and not feeling ashamed or guilty about it, helped with the healing process.It is stories and history of different human experiences of bad and good, of despair and eventually repair. People living close to me could not deal with the bizarre behaviour of the bipolar monster that regularly had outbursts. People said I acted like a crazy attention-seeking woman who drinks too much, swallow pills like candy and do nothing else but sleep all day long.I found out how losing people I was supposed to protect, influenced my life. Having miscarriages, being molested and raped leaves a permanent scar on the subconscious and may be the cause of many troubles later in life. I have lived through huge trauma when my brother died of HIV Aids and had feelings of guilt because I thought I was still supposed to protect him like I did when we were small.When youve hit rock bottom, how can you get back hope? How can you regain what you have lost? What I did know was that I would have to fight for my home family to take me back. Even if it meant I would have to fight inside myself with myself. It took a huge amount of work on my side to be accepted again, but it can be done.Then there were the relapses. Every time I decided to stop taking my medication, I had a relapse. Eventually I realised that I had to be on medication to feel better or kind of normal again.People with bipolar disorder can live a splendid life. I am a good example of that.Read my story of the Bipolar Adventure and if my story can give hope to others in the same boat, I have achieved my goal.